


Fish-Sticks

by Skyson



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, Kitchen Sex, M/M, erotic fish stick eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 16:00:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11558595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyson/pseuds/Skyson
Summary: Jeffrey and Phil make a late-night, quick dinner that turns into a little something else.Can be seen as AU Post-Framework, I suppose. Just a little fun somethin' somethin'. Don't take it too seriously :-)





	Fish-Sticks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pippypaleopath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pippypaleopath/gifts).



> Alternately: "The Damn Fish Sticks: A Coulace Story Thought Up By I-deduce-skeletons and Captainskyson One Random Evening Because Why Not."
> 
> Dedicated to Pippy. Hope this gives you a bit of cheer, my friend.

* * *

 

"Are you eating the fish sticks... erotically?" Phil asked one late night as they sat across one another at the dining table, eating dinner. It had been a long day for both of them, as acting Co-Directors, and neither had the chance to eat much until now. Being almost midnight, they also didn't feel like doing much other than throwing some frozen dinner into the oven - so fish-sticks it was.

"...No." Jeff responded to his question, whilst slowly stuffing an entire fish stick into his mouth.

Phil's mouth turned downward in that way that indicated he was trying to fight off his amusement - and failing. In retaliation, Phil made sure Jeff was looking right into his eyes as he slowly lifted his finger up to his mouth, putting his tongue out slightly and touching his finger against it. Then he closed his mouth around his finger, sucking the bit of tartar sauce off the end of it.

Jeff swallowed hard his mouthful of food, staring at Phil, his own mouth parted open slightly as he watched Phil's lips.

"Let me show you how to eat fish sticks," Phil murmured, pulling his finger from his mouth and reaching for one of his last remaining pieces of food, swiping it through his tartar sauce to gather a decent amount on the end of it. He looked back to Jeff, who's gaze hadn't wavered, and proceeded to slowly and thoroughly lick all of the sauce off of the end of the fish stick.

"Fuck, me," Jeff breathed, looking equal parts aroused and perplexed. Phil's eyebrow twitched questioningly.

"Is that an expletive, or a request?" He drawled, and Jeff swallowed noticeably.

"Why am I finding this sexy?" He wondered. "This shouldn't be sexy."

"You started it." Phil pointed out.

And now Jeff had what was possibly one of the most awkward boners of his adult life. He tried to be subtle about shifting in his seat and pulling at the crotch of his pants, trying to rearrange himself. Phil was watching, though, with a knowing gaze, and a wider smirk on his face. He also looked a bit sheepish, though, and Jeff realized that he must have the same 'problem', as well.

They stared at one another for a long beat, and then Jeff stood and pushed his plate to the side, leaning across the table. A half-second behind, Phil did the same, the two of them meeting in the middle with a bump of noses and a hard kiss that tasted like fish and tangy mayonnaise. Phil grabbed at Jeff's tie that was hanging down between them, wrapping his fist around it and tugging to hold Jeff in place as he deepened the kiss, curling his tongue into Jeff's mouth.

It didn't matter that they both tasted like tartar sauce; Jeff moaned, bumping into the table when he realized that he couldn't get any closer to Phil.

"I am not," He pried himself away from Phil's mouth, "climbing across this table."

Phil let go of his tie, giving him a dark look of arousal, and rounded that table faster than Jeff thought was possible. Pressing a hand against Jeff's chest, Phil pushed him lightly backward until he bumped against the kitchen cabinets, and then Phil immediately slid his hand down and cupped the growing bulge inside Jeff's trousers. He squeezed his hand along the defining length and Jeff sucked in a breath, clenching his teeth together not to make a sound.

"There are some great things about wearing my suits again," Phil murmured, kissing Jeff's neck.

"Other than that you wear the hell out of one?" He replied distractedly, tilting his chin up to give Phil more room.

Phil's hand moved to Jeff's hip, gripping tightly as Phil rubbed his own bulge against Jeff's. Jeff growled approvingly, tilting his head to find Phil's mouth again and kissing him hard. The trousers didn't do much to hinder either of their erections, and the friction between them made Jeff moan again and clutch Phil closer to him. Phil ground his hips against Jeff's with purpose, pulling a slightly higher pitched sound from the back of Jeff's throat. Phil grunted and bit his lip, trying to keep quiet as well. They were already risking someone walking in on them now - no need to further draw attention. Their noses brushed as they rutted against one another, both of them drawing faster breaths now and unable to hold a kiss for very long.

"Fuck-" Jeff groaned shortly, and Phil slid his hand firmly up the front of Jeff's shirt, scraping his nails across the fabric over his nipple, and Jeff's head fell back against the cabinet with an unintended 'thunk'. Coulson started kissing and nipping at his throat again, and Jeff slipped his hands down around the curve of Phil's ass, gripping him closely as they thrust their hips against one another.

Phil laughed quietly with pleasure, resting his forehead against Jeff's shoulder for a moment as they moved together. It had been a long time since he'd done something like this...quick and urgent and under the threat of getting caught. He'd forgotten how _fun_  it was.

But....

"I need, I need," Phil panted, brow furrowing as he ground his hips firmly against Jeff. It just wasn't quite...

Pushing Phil back just a bit, Jeff's hands slid around to the front of Phil's trousers and quickly worked at his fly, not even bothering with the belt or button as he dipped his hand inside and wrapped his fingers around Phil's cock. He held him firmly, with a familiarity that made Phil shiver all the way down to his toes.

"Phillip," Jeff growled quietly, pulling Phil's cock from it's confinement and dropping to his knees.

Phil moaned and closed his eyes for a moment, unbearably aroused by the action, and he braced his hands on the cabinet above Jeff, panting as he watched Jeff move his tongue and mouth over his hard length. Without warning Jeff pulled half of him into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks, creating pressure around Phil's cock that made him cry out.

Jeff reached up without looking, his fingers touching against Phil's mouth to warn him to stay quiet. Phil nipped at his first two fingers before wrapping his lips around them, and he could feel the way Jeff swallowed against the head of his cock.

Jeff began to pump him vigorously, probably more than ready to come himself and wanting to get Phil off first. He focused his mouth on the tip of Phil's arousal as his hand worked the rest of him, and it wasn't long after that Phil was panting breathlessly,

"Fuck, Jeff, I'm gonna-"

Jeff looked up at him and took him in deep, and Phil could only open his mouth silently as he body jerked forward with the force of his orgasm, his cock throbbing inside of the other man's mouth.

"Fuck!" Phil hissed once he could breathe again, and Jeff didn't pull away until he was sure he was finished, though his hand that wasn't braced against Phil's hip drifted down between his own legs to stroke the straining bulge in his pants. "Stand up," Phil ordered, his voice hoarse, helping Jeff to his feet and kissing him roughly as he tucked himself away. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but he also didn't want to get caught screwing around with his boyfriend in the kitchen.

Phil pushed Jeff's hand away from himself and replaced it with his own, continuing to kiss him deeply as he felt out the shape of his cock through his trousers.

"Oh, hell," Phil muttered, as if he'd been trying not to ask, "can I?"

Jeff looked at him with sarcastic surprise, his fingers gripping the edge counter behind him tightly.

"When have I ever told you no, Phil?" Jeff pointed out, and Phil hummed a half-hearted noise of agreement as he knelt, already thinking about other things. Namely, getting Jeff inside of his mouth as soon as possible.

Jeff may normally be the 'bottom' in their relationship, but Phil always made sure to be very open about how much he loved this.

Smugly, he was pretty sure Jeff loved it, too - and judging by the way Jeff was looking down at him with anticipation, Phil could bet money that he was right. Jeff pulled his lip between his teeth as Phil smirked up at him, pulling open his belt and trousers to push the waistband back out of the way.

"As I expected," Phil mused when Jeff's hardened length easily sprang free, "going commando today, are we?"

"I need to do laundry." Jeff admitted distractedly, sucking in a breath when Coulson licked his tongue along the underside of his shaft. "I'm not gonna last," He warned quickly.

"Good," Phil mused, able to take him fully into his mouth, maneuvering his hand inside of Jeff's trousers and pressing his fingers up and back just so -

" _Fuck_ \- Phillip -" Jeff growled, almost sounding like he was scolding the man, though Phil knew it was anything but as he came almost immediately, warm heavy spurts against Phil's throat as Phil continued to bob his head over him. Jeff's head fell back against the cabinets again, an even louder thump than before, his knuckles going white against the countertop as he shuddered beneath Phil's touch.

Neither man noticed Daisy quickly backtrack out of the room, pressing her back against the wall outside the doorway as she tried frantically to rid her mind of what she'd just walked in on.

Jeff made a noise that sounded half like a moan and half like a desperate laugh, and Daisy pushed herself away from the wall, striding quickly back toward her bunk.

Forget the midnight snack cravings - she was never going to be able to look either of them in the eye again.

"Geez, guys, you both have _bunks_ ," She muttered to herself, pushing into her room and immediately shutting the door behind her. "When I left you in there you were making fucking _fish sticks_. _How the hell do you_  -" She stopped, and shook her head, throwing herself onto her mattress and covering her eyes with her arm. "You know what, no. I really don't want to know."

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> This all started with two comments on Tumblr, and I blame them entirely :) -  
> inspieos: "I wonder how Mace got his Inhuman powers in the Framework."  
> princessdarcyofasgard: "I bet my boy ate contaminated fish sticks."  
> And then, of course, I-deduce and myself ran off the deep end with it... :)


End file.
